I just
assume that most people would prefer to know the events that are about to
happen in their lives. We want to be forewarned, made aware of what will be. I
think that people in general wish things had been different, that somehow
knowing what is going to happen would prepare them, ground them so they can
better deal with whatever will be anyway. Like with prophecy, if we acknowledge
what is to come we can change it somehow, that knowing the future would allow
us to shape it into something much more palpable to our sense of well-being. I
think it is better not to know, especially when dealing with the death of
someone in our lives. I fear that the loss and grief would only be greatly
compounded. I’m not sure insight into when someone is going to die would do
anything but complicate the matter. I realize we all wish for much more than
mere warning signs but having an outline of tomorrow would simply aggravate the
same feelings, but today. Anticipating such things has rarely done anything but
make us more stressed, much more out of focus. Rather than paying attention to
now, we would scurry about trying to change the course of our history. The knowledge
of an event would only exacerbate the inevitable. At least, in the moment, we have
the moment. Tomorrow may not be a better day but it is still, if only in itself,
another day. There is hope in the unknowable, that things might be okay, no
matter what might happen next.
“We sowed our seeds watered
with tears
Waiting for signs of growth
took months of days
And then took years
We took our steps, we
took our falls
Somewhere along the
way we just got lost
And we lost it all
Nothing ventured,
nothing gained
The risk of living is
the pain
And what will be will
be anyway”
I cannot
imagine what I would do if I was somehow able to tap into my history or predict
my future. I realize that a million times a day we all wish that things had somehow
turned out differently for us. Having the power to amend these “incidents”
would only cause havoc and chaos. I can picture all of mankind chasing the past
in order to affect the future. I can imagine who I would be, constantly paying penance
even though my course had shifted. Any changes would not reverse reality. We
think we could go back and fix things, or stop them from happening, but time is
constant and what will be will be, regardless of how we try to manipulate it.
Albeit the future is not set in stone like the past is. I don’t think we can
change what was but we can make what is better, richer and much more kind to
us. Once someone has passed away, we all tend to run off to some otherland to
appropriately deal with all the noise. Almost instantly, the deceased becomes
an amalgam of all the times we shared with them. Their life becomes a scrapbook,
which we get to open and close depending on our mood. Altering or changing the
events of our lives would simply remove one page for another, leaving us still wishing
we could change the way things are. It’s a double edged sword and we need to be
careful what we wish for. I’m not even so sure I would change anything about my
life if I was granted the opportunity. Sure, I would love to go back and fix my
mistakes. I would like to at least be given the chance to somehow alter the
deaths of my Mother and my first partner, but it would be nothing but
daydreaming. The past is set. There is nothing you can do about it now. I’m not
sure I would want to.
“It’s better not to
know
The way it’s gonna go
What will die and
what will grow
Goodbye more than
hello
It’s better not to
know”
I think
it’s better not to know just how your story will go. There are just some things
that should be left the way they are. We can try to go back and amend. We can
look forward with hope. When you really stop to think about it, all that trying
has never done anyone any good. Sometimes things just are the way they are.
Running about effectively changing your history would only compromise your now.
There are no guarantees, not even in an otherland. Allowing time to pass, going
with the flow, may not avoid disaster but it will carry you through it. Every
person is riddled with the amount of time that has passed them by. Speaking
from experience, it is the worn and beaten souls that hold the most promise. We
have no choice but to grin and bear it. What is going to be will be, whether we
like it or not.
Quite
often, people pretend that three wishes would solve all their problems. We
would literally wish them away. Imagine, three different and very tempting
alternatives to the life you currently live. What alterations one could make
with so many indulging options. Our life would change in the blink of an eye
but I am not sure that anything really would. After all, we all encounter the
possibility every time we talk to a genie, play our numbers in the lotto draw
or even when we wish upon a star. The problem is that wishes rarely come true
and even when they do manifest, they are usually nothing more than a catalyst
for more chaos and the complications it brings. I have never even won a door
prize. I don’t really gamble. I rarely play the lottery. I dare not wish upon
anything but the day itself. I have had to accept my life as it is. We all do.
Hoping things can be different is nothing but another reason to worry about
tomorrow instead of focusing on today. Regardless, you cannot halt tragedy, or
misery, or woe. Your life might be different but you have only exchanged one
lot for another.
The good
news is that we already have the ability to change our lives. Every day you
carry the option to get on with living or just lay down and die. Every morsel
can be used to feed the future. After all, “tomorrow is another day.” The way
things are now is a direct consequence of your life experiences up to that
point. The same cannot be said about tomorrow. Even the slightest tinge can
make it a better day. What may have rested in destruction, should the path not
be taken, may very well lead you to someplace better. The past is set in stone
and the future is nothing but guesswork. We have the power of choice and in
that choice we can affect what will be. Our past is fixed but our future lies
in our very own hands. We might not be able to alter or shift events but we can
make the right decisions and in so doing, influence the outcome. We may not be able
to change the past with magic, or technology, or senseless wishing but we can
adjust the future with forethought and the knowledge that by changing now, we
can change then.
“Those tiny stems
became these trees
With dirt and storms
and sun and air to breathe
Like you and me
And some fell down
and some grew tall
And those surviving
twenty winter thaws
Have the sweetest
fruit of all
But innocence and
planting day are both long gone
So much has changed
And if we had to do
it all again”
We may not
able to predict what may come. What has been will always stay just the way it
is. The only option we are left with is to effectively change ourselves in
order to amend the past or affect the future. We spend so much energy on
wishing things were different that we miss the opportunity to actually do
something in the now to make things better. We may even use hindsight and
foresight in a negative sense, bringing much more damage to our lives then we
ever considered possible. We know that nothing remains the way it is, not ever.
Change is inevitable, like the sun and the moon and the stars. We have the
power to make a greater day. We have the option to thrive or just survive. The
past may restrict us and the future may hinder us but acting within the
parameter of the now allows us, at least, an alternative to what we think has
happened or what we fear will occur. Either way, you cannot alter anything
unless you apply yourself. People will come and people will go. Death is the
ultimate determination. If I could go back, if I wanted to, I would raise the
dead, bringing back those people whose absence makes my life a sadder place. I
fear I would only be forcing repeat performances. Everyone is going to die.
Knowing how and when would be a
nightmare in itself. Imagining the clock ticking down each day, each hour, each
second. It would be maddening in the most literal sense. I’m unsure what it all
really means or might mean. I only know that when it all comes down, it’s still
better not to know.
“Nothing stays the
same
Life flickers like a
flame
As the seasons come
and go
Goodbye more than
hello
It’s better not to
know
Is it better, better
not to know?”
(Better Not to Know, Amy Grant 2013)
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